So, look… life is hard. That’s what I’m here to say… life is freakin hard!
Life comes at us all fast and furious and rarely, if ever, lets up long enough for us to catch our proverbial breath. That’s it…right? Well, yeah… and no.
While it is true that life is hard and often throws things our way before we have the chance to respond, believe it or not, we can not only survive life… we can thrive in life.
As a psychotherapist, I see people daily who are attempting to swim in the river of life. The only problem is, they’re swimming against the flow… and sometimes this flow is more like rapids. Many of them are tired, exhausted, frustrated, irritated, agitated, sad, discouraged, and angry.
Sound familiar to anyone? Yeah, me too. Welcome to the world of depression and anxiety. Well, it’s time to pull yourself out of the river… life is not a river… life… is a hurricane!
Picture a hurricane in your mind… this massive swirling phenomenon wreaking havoc as it picks this house up and throws it over there or lifts that boat out of the harbor and tosses it into a warehouse 12 miles inland. In the wake…devastation!
Now, in your picture… are you in the storm fighting the winds, trying to dodge what life is throwing at you, putting your hands up to stop or change the winds, attempting to control the course and power of the hurricane of life? How’s that workin for ya?
Yeah, life is fun… or not! But let me ask this, “Where is the safest place in a hurricane?” Pat yourself on the back, you’re right! In the eye… the eye of the storm. The eye can often be totally calm… no real winds… maybe even sunshine. So, why aren’t you in the eye?
The eye of the storm is the place that, while still experiencing the hardships of life from time to time, one has time to RESPOND in a calm, mindful way to the particular challenge coming his or her way. In the winds, it is chaos that produces a REACTION.
What’s the difference? Responding gives us the ability to think, even briefly, about what is facing us. Reaction is a knee-jerk decision. Reaction is running to the front entrance of the office with 40 other people during a fire because of survival panic. Responding is taking a millisecond to think and remember there is another door no one ever uses, whether due to convenience or recall.
Reaction will leave one bottlenecked or trampled with the others… response may provide a clear, unobstructed path to safety. The same in our hurricane scenario… reaction is to fight against what is… response is to consider options that provide choices that lead to a rational action amid what is.
How about you? Are you reacting to life and battling anxiety and depression? Or are you responding and discovering how to thrive in life in relative calm and ease?
Lee Armbruster is an LMFT practicing psychotherapy in the Palm Springs area. For information on individual and/or group therapy, please contact Lee at (760) 545-8894.
